Rants of a jew on Christmas

Today is Christmas. Well, it was until seventeen minutes ago, anyway. I got tons of candy, and my friends from Interlochen came to visit. So why am I in such a bad mood? Jealous and paranoid. Again. As usual.

A few months ago when I found out that they were coming to visit and staying in Sam's cabin, I was told I could come too, and I was way excited. Then I find out that I can't stay in the cabin because there are too many people already, especially since I don't know how to ski. But I'd get to hang out with them on Christmas and New Years and maybe visit up to the cabin sometime in between. On Christmas I might even get to stay overnight with them.

Tonight I find out that on New Years, Sam's friend Katy is having her birthday party, they're all going to see little shop together and then doing whatever shit to party beyond that, and I'm not invitied, but all of the Interlochen people who she's never met are. My mom arranges for me to get a ride home in the middle of the celebration tonight after only like four hours. She doesn't have the time to let me visit much. And there is obviously some personal preference against me and it seems like they were trying (in a nice sort of way) to get rid of me earlier than they needed to. And none of them really said bye even though I probably won't get to see any of them again on this visit. Or maybe the rest of my life if they don't wind up back at Interlochen or if I don't get in this year.

I need psychic powers to know what's really going on. Maybe I'm being too paranoid or maybe there's something wrong with me. Either way, I'd like to know.

Why must even the best times of my life suck?